


Doppleganger

by Chrononautical



Series: Endless Apocrypha [5]
Category: Lucifer (TV), The Sandman (Comics)
Genre: Multi, Protective Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:24:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10022489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrononautical/pseuds/Chrononautical
Summary: Lucifer has a twin. Chloe has impure thoughts. Apparently, so does Dan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Desire of the Endless looks like everything you want. Desire looks exactly like everything everyone wants. Because of this, Desire has no gender, or perhaps it is more accurate to say that Desire is all genders. Desire is also the absolute worst, but I decided to overlook that here. TV Lucifer owes a lot to Desire, and I think knowing a kindred spirit would mellow Desire out a little. Comics fans will note that Desire doesn't entertain itself in this story by arranging for any gruesome deaths, so I suppose I mellowed it a lot. I hope the character is still recognizable enough to fans, though, and that you enjoy this. Thanks for reading.

“Oh that is just too weird.” Knowing that Lucifer didn’t have a type, Chloe had been foolish enough to think that no one he hooked up with would surprise her. She’d actually walked in on much worse than the handsy groping session going on at the piano. Given the givens, though, even her jaded L.A. sensibilities were startled. 

“What’s weird about it?” Dan huffed enviously. “Lucifer could manage to get Marilyn Monroe on a piano bench.” 

“Right.” Chloe knew that she should joke back, not simply stare dry mouthed at the scene in front of her, but the man on the piano bench with Lucifer was hardly the blonde bombshell from The Seven Year Itch. “I’m sorry. I have to ask. You aren’t actually related, are you?” 

Looking up from his partner, Lucifer grinned breathlessly. “Detective! This is a pleasant surprise. Allow me to present Desire of the Endless, one of my oldest friends. Desire, meet Detective Decker and the Douche.” 

Without Lucifer blocking the view, Chloe could see that the resemblance was even more uncanny than it seemed initially. Desire had the same square jaw with the same light stubble as his companion. The same short, dark curls framed his face with sideburns that were exactly the same length as Lucifer’s. Even his eyes were the same dark brown, shading to black in the dim light of the nightclub. 

“Charmed.” The man didn’t just look like Lucifer, the accent was eerily identical as well. He lacked Lucifer’s exuberant smile, though. Toying with a cigarette, he propped it against his lips with a bored expression.

“Just a friend, though, right?” Chloe couldn’t seem to get past the fact that Desire’s nose had the exact same aristocratic curve as Lucifer’s. Incest would be a bridge too far, even for Lucifer.

“Well, the sort of friends who spend a great deal of time horizontal and naked,” Lucifer clarified with a confused smirk. “I know you humans make distinctions about that sort of thing.”

“Really?” Dan folded his arms over his chest, emphasizing his biceps the way he did when he wanted to pick a fight. “That’s how you talk in front of a lady?” 

Paleolithic attitude aside, Chloe couldn’t help the little frisson of pleasure that came when Dan defended her. She was long past being offended by Lucifer’s antics, but his protective streak had been one of the things she found attractive about Dan in the first place. Hearing him call her a lady was nice. It had been a while. 

Naturally he had to go and ruin it by bizarrely offering his hand to Lucifer’s double. “I am so sorry if he offended you, ma’am. We try not to let Lucifer speak too often in front of decent people.” 

Chloe had to wonder if Dan was seeing something she wasn’t, some hint that Desire’s features were anything but purely masculine. Not her business, she quickly decided, no more than whatever Lucifer was about to do to him (or her? them?) on the piano bench. Lazily, they extended a hand palm down, as though they expected Dan to kiss it. “Fortunately no part of that sentence applies to me.” 

Dan laughed as though the inflection free phrase was the funniest joke he’d ever heard. Desire lit their cigarette with one hand. They had to, because Dan was still holding on to the other one, grinning the big, doofy smile he tended to save for Trixie. Clearly Desire had the same appeal that Lucifer seemed to hold for the vast majority of humanity, and lacked the basic decency to avoid aiming it at her ex. That was fine. The divorce was finalized. Dan could do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted, whether or not they were anything like his usual type.

Turning to Lucifer, Chloe tried to focus on actual business. “Caught a murder. It looked to be narcotics related, but our vic was just identified as Billy Parrish, a software mogul with a reputation. It’s the kind of case I could use my partner on, if you’re free.” 

Chloe waited for Dan to give the usual grumble about Lucifer being her partner, but he was still holding Desire’s hand. “Forgive me for being so forward, but you have to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he said, finding his voice. Chloe wondered if he was joking. While Desire might have their own ideas about gender, and Chloe was more than willing to wait for a pronoun clue to come up naturally, calling someone who looked exactly like Lucifer in every way a woman was a hell of a leap in logic. 

“Yes,” Desire said, tugging their hand out of his grip. “I’m the most beautiful being anyone has seen.” 

Dan laughed again. Chloe didn’t get the joke, but Lucifer seemed plenty amused by it. He was watching Dan with the sharklike grin he tended to save for bad guys who were about to be punished. 

“You are. You really are. Has anyone ever told you that your hair is the exact color of the morning sun over the ocean?” 

“How tiresome.” Desire took a long drag on their cigarette. 

“You can’t smoke in here,” Chloe bit out. Dan ignored her completely, but Desire glanced at her in a measuring way. 

“I can do anything I want,” they said, blowing a long stream of smoke directly in Chloe’s face. For all that they looked like Lucifer, Desire lacked even a single aspect of his charm. 

“‘S fine,” Lucifer said quickly. “I’m the owner, and I say it’s fine for Desire to smoke in here.” He was still smiling, but now it was the anxious, appeasing smile he used when he wanted to convince Chloe that his way was best. 

“No, it isn’t. California law explicitly bans smoking in bars and nightclubs, Lucifer.”

“Well go ahead and write me a ticket, darling.” Wheedling his way around the piano to put his height to use, he offered her a tumbler of scotch. “You’re only doing your duty. I don’t mind a bit.”

Folding her arms in irritation, Chloe glared up at him, refusing the drink. “I’m not a meter maid, Lucifer.”

“Excellent! There’s no problem, then.” 

Before Chloe could debate the point, Desire cocked an eyebrow, showing an expression of vague interest for the first time since the police had interrupted their makeout session. “You’re his ex?” they asked, gesturing to Dan with the still burning cigarette. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Chloe said, almost in tandem with Dan’s dazed declaration that, “She means nothing to me.” 

If he’d turned around and stuck her with a switchblade, it might have hurt less. Divorced or not, Dan had been her best friend, co-parent, and partner for a decade. For him to just dismiss her, saying all of that meant nothing, cut deep. But then, she was used to Dan leaving her high and dry in public. 

“You could turn it down a little,” Lucifer growled to Desire, no longer smiling. 

“No, I can’t.” Desire blinked. “It upsets you that this woman is jealous?” 

It was amazing that the exact same features could look so different. Lucifer’s mouth was a thin line that stretched into a dangerous smile, Desire’s was soft, curling only a little in distaste.

“Detective Decker is—”

Waving the cigarette, Desire cut him off. “Special, different, perfection, if only you could get between her thighs all the grace of heaven which has been denied you would be reclaimed. Yes, yes, spare me.”

The smile fell away. Lucifer’s voice was clipped and serious. “My partner.” 

Sighing sullenly, Desire put a hand in their pocket, lifting the cigarette back to their lips. The disgruntled pout was a typical Lucifer expression, though not one Chloe had seen in awhile. “Fine.” Turning back to Dan, Desire looked deep into his eyes. “You hurt her, you take the punishment.”

“Sounds great!” Whatever was going on with him seemed over the top, much more dramatic than Lucifer’s usual mojo, but then Lucifer had never aimed his attraction at someone Chloe was close to. Unlike Desire, Lucifer had the common decency to refrain from going after her mom and Dan. Unlike Desire, Lucifer never tried to be hurtful. 

“You like blondes.” Desire’s voice was low, hypnotic, and so familiar that Chloe had to watch Lucifer’s worried face to assure herself that they were two different people. “Go to the blonde at the bar. Take her home. Make love to her like she’s made out of gold. Go down on her for hours like it’ll get you that promotion you want so much. Fuck her like you’ve never needed anything more in your life. Call her Chloe when you do. In the morning, make her banana pancakes, your specialty, and the moment you finish the last bite, forget her entirely. When you see her on the street, you won’t recognize her. When she shows up naked in the copier room at the police station, you won’t know her at all. That should be enough.” 

“Okay.” Dan stumbled away in a daze. 

Furious, Chloe watched him lean against the bar next to the woman in question, regaining his composure as he blatantly hit on her. “Listen,” she said, “I am done with this. Lucifer, if you decide to care about the murder, I’m headed to Venice. Bye.”

“As for you,” Desire said magnanimously, as if she hadn’t spoken, “I’ll let you suck my cock while Lucifer tups you. Not sure why he hasn’t just bent you over on his own, but it’s not a hardship if I have him around.” 

Enjoying the horrified expression on Lucifer’s face, Chloe pretended to consider it. It was the Devil’s Threeway, after all, and Lucifer had mentioned his preferences on more than one occasion. Chloe suspected what was being proposed was an Eiffel Tower situation, with two smirking dicks high fiving each other while she did all of the work for none of the reward. Stepping forward, she bent down to bring her face level with Desire’s, slipping the cigarette from their unresisting fingers. 

“I can’t think of anything I want less,” she said, extinguishing the cigarette in Lucifer’s scotch as she turned to leave. 

Lucifer’s laugh was bright and pleased. “Darling! I never realized how funny that was from the outside. Good show!” 

“I could make you want it.” The voice that wasn’t Lucifer’s sounded low and deadly. 

Suddenly, Chloe really was considering it, the way she sometimes considered Lucifer when she was all alone late at night. Lucifer kissing her sweetly while Lucifer had his face buried between her legs, licking her open. Lucifer’s hands holding her breasts gently while he squeezed her ass with just the right amount of force. Lucifer sliding home while he rocked into her gently, filling her, fucking her, everywhere at once. There were two of him; she’d be a fool to refuse. 

Turning back, she saw that he’d already gotten started. Straddling Desire on the piano bench, Lucifer was pulling suit buttons open desperately, kissing eagerly, letting hands roam impatiently over the long planes of familiar muscles. Pulling Desire’s mouth against his neck, he looked up to meet Chloe’s eyes unhappily. 

“Go now,” he mouthed silently. 

Apparently Chloe was more susceptible to Desire’s power of persuasion than she was to Lucifer’s. Worse, it seemed Lucifer thought this was a bullet he needed to take for her. That, more than any arousal she may or may not have experienced, forced Chloe to stay. She wouldn’t leave her partner in the lurch. 

Before she could make a move, Desire stood up, brushing Lucifer off like a piece of lint. “How utterly mundane. You should know better.” 

Far from dropping to the floor, Lucifer loomed like an avenging angel, putting himself directly between Chloe and Desire.

“Desire shouldn’t be contained.” The words were ones Lucifer had said many times, but Desire sounded nothing like him. Desire sounded furious. “You of all people know that.”

“It should be natural,” Lucifer argued. Chloe couldn’t see his expression, but his voice was uncharacteristically stern. 

“That wasn’t neurolinguistic programming.” Chloe was badly shaken. She wasn’t supposed to be vulnerable to the hypnotism thing, but somehow Desire had made her forget they were even present, building her—totally platonic—feelings for Lucifer into an urgent need. If it worked on her, could it work on Lucifer? She put a hand on the back of his suit jacket. “We should both go.” 

Looking back at her with a fierce smile, Lucifer agreed. “We will, even if you fight me tooth and nail to stay, Detective. I did not take advantage of you in an inebriated state, and I will not take advantage of you now. When you finally admit to your feelings of unbridled lust for my person, I promise it will not be an occasion for later regret.” 

Chloe returned the smile. She wouldn’t call it unbridled lust, but she definitely felt something for Lucifer. She was safe with him. Safer than she’d felt in a long time. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, under the circumstances.

Rolling their eyes, Desire turned away. “Honestly I expected better. I’ll see you in a century or two, Lucifer. When this is out of your system.”

“Desire.” Lucifer hesitated. Chloe thought about that introduction, one of his oldest friends. The two of them were so much alike, and so very different. Just by coming to Lux she’d caused a rift between the pair. Much as she disliked Desire, feared them, maybe, if she was honest with herself, she hoped it wasn’t permanent. Lucifer didn’t seem to have many real friends. 

Desire’s smile was small but kind, a smile that might have made Chloe ache if she saw it on the face of the real Lucifer. “Be happy, for a little while. You deserve it, and she’s mortal. You’ll be back to your old self in no time.” 

Jaw slack, eyes wide, Lucifer looked like the floor had opened up beneath him, dropping him back to the hell he claimed to come from. 

“Lucifer? Are you alright?” 

Forcing a smile, he turned to her. “Of course, darling. Not even sure Desire meant to be cruel just then. Nature of the Endless, you know. And you are mortal. Doubtless heaven-bound. Can’t blame a friend for telling the truth. Anyway, we have loads of time. Years and years. How old are you again, exactly?”

“Right.” Chloe looked around, but Desire was already gone. So, apparently, was Dan.

“Anyway, we have a case, Detective. Saddle up! It just so happens that the good Mister Parrish was an acquaintance of mine, and let me tell you, his reputation for indulgence was well deserved.” 

There was a case. A murderer was out there and justice needed to be done. The question of Lucifer’s bizarre friends could wait. If it meant never seeing Desire again, Chloe would be happy to leave it unanswered forever.


End file.
